Summary

In Committed, Elizabeth Gilbert explores the institution of marriage with her usual wit and wisdom. Following Eat, Pray, Love, Gilbert finds herself unexpectedly considering marriage again despite past heartbreak and skepticism. She embarks on a journey across Southeast Asia with her Brazilian lover, Felipe, grappling with the complexities of commitment. Their travels are interrupted by a bureaucratic snag: Felipe is denied entry to the United States, and marriage becomes the only solution for them to be together. Faced with this unexpected turn of events, Gilbert delves into the history, philosophy, and cultural expectations surrounding marriage. From ancient civilizations to modern times, she examines how marriage has evolved, its impact on women, and the ever-shifting dynamics of love and partnership. Along the way, she encounters a diverse range of couples and individuals, each with their own unique perspectives on the joys and challenges of long-term relationships. Through insightful observations and personal anecdotes, Gilbert examines the social contract of marriage, the nature of fidelity, and the delicate balance between autonomy and togetherness. From the bustling clans of the Hmong people in Vietnam to a pragmatic Yankee farmer in Connecticut, she discovers that there's no single template for a happy marriage, and that love often defies easy categorization. Committed offers a nuanced and humorous exploration of the universal human desire for connection. Gilbert's journey is not just a quest for understanding marriage, but also a journey of self-discovery, as she confronts her own fears and expectations about love and partnership. With her trademark blend of humor and vulnerability, she invites readers to question their own assumptions about marriage and to embrace the complexities of modern love.

Part 1: A Skeptic's Inquiry: After a transformative journey chronicled in Eat, Pray, Love, Liz Gilbert finds herself contemplating marriage again, despite her past heartbreak and aversion to the institution. An unexpected turn of events forces her hand when her Brazilian lover, Felipe, is denied entry into the United States. Marriage becomes the only solution for them to be together, prompting Liz to embark on an intellectual and emotional exploration of matrimony. She delves into the history, philosophy, and cultural expectations surrounding marriage, seeking to understand its complexities and make peace with the idea before taking the plunge.

Part 2: Across Cultures and Continents: Liz and Felipe's journey takes them across Southeast Asia, where they encounter diverse cultures and perspectives on marriage. From the Hmong women in Vietnam, who view marriage as a practical social contract, to a young Laotian couple whose home is filled with frogs and fighting fish, Liz discovers that love and partnership take many forms. She contrasts these experiences with the pragmatic Yankee values of an elderly farmer in Connecticut, highlighting the shifting expectations and definitions of marriage across cultures and time.

Part 3: The Evolution of Marriage: Liz's research delves into the history of marriage in the Western world, revealing its ever-changing nature. From ancient civilizations where marriage was a survival strategy to the Middle Ages where it became a tool for wealth management, Liz traces the evolution of this complex institution. She explores the impact of coverture, the erasure of women's legal identity upon marriage, and the slow but steady progress toward marital freedom and equality. The rise of love-based marriages and the accompanying increase in divorce rates challenge traditional notions of lifelong commitment, prompting Liz to question her own assumptions and expectations.

Part 4: Love, Infatuation, and Fidelity: Liz confronts her past patterns of infatuation and the challenges of maintaining long-term intimacy. She explores the science of love, drawing parallels between the brain chemistry of infatuated lovers and cocaine addicts. The story of a teenage monk in Laos with a secret love letter prompts Liz to reflect on the complexities of desire and the risks of impulsive romance. She delves into the work of Shirley Glass, learning about the walls and windows of marriage and the subtle ways that friendships can escalate into infidelity.

Part 5: Autonomy and Togetherness: As Liz and Felipe's wedding day approaches, she grapples with the delicate balance between autonomy and togetherness in a committed relationship. She draws on the metaphor of her parents' carefully divided garden to illustrate how couples must navigate their individual needs and shared spaces. A solo trip to Cambodia, while Felipe enjoys his newfound hobby of making balloon animals, highlights their contrasting travel styles and the importance of respecting each other's need for independence.

Part 6: A Subversive Act: Liz discovers the work of Ferdinand Mount, who argues that marriage is inherently subversive, a private act of rebellion against societal control. This perspective reframes Liz's understanding of marriage, transforming it from an institution imposed upon individuals to a concession by authorities to the unmanageable power of love and intimacy. She embraces the idea of marriage as a quiet act of subversion, a private world created by two individuals against the backdrop of history and social expectations.

Part 7: The Wedding and Beyond: Liz and Felipe finally return to the United States and marry in their newly purchased home – a converted church in New Jersey. The wedding is a small and intimate affair, attended by family and close friends. Liz reflects on the significance of public vows and the role of witnesses in solidifying the commitment. As they begin their married life together, Liz acknowledges the challenges and uncertainties that lie ahead, but also expresses hope and a newfound respect for the enduring power of love and partnership.