Summary

Getting to YES: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, by Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton, offers a proven, straightforward strategy for reaching mutually acceptable agreements in every kind of negotiation, whether it involves a family quarrel, a peace settlement among nations, or a business contract. The authors argue that the most common form of negotiation, positional bargaining, often fails to produce wise agreements efficiently and amicably. Positional bargaining involves each side taking a position, arguing for it, and making concessions to reach a compromise. This approach, however, tends to lock negotiators into their positions, makes it difficult to address the underlying concerns of the parties, and strains or even shatters relationships.

Instead of positional bargaining, the authors advocate for principled negotiation, a method that focuses on deciding issues based on their merits rather than through haggling. Principled negotiation involves four key points: separating the people from the problem, focusing on interests, not positions, inventing options for mutual gain, and insisting on using objective criteria. By separating the people from the problem, negotiators can address emotional and communication issues independently of the substantive problem. Focusing on interests allows negotiators to understand the underlying needs, desires, concerns, and fears of each side, which often leads to more creative and mutually beneficial solutions than merely compromising between positions.

Inventing options for mutual gain encourages negotiators to brainstorm a wide range of possibilities before deciding what to do, expanding the pie before dividing it. By insisting on using objective criteria, such as market value, expert opinion, custom, or law, negotiators can avoid arbitrary results and ensure that the agreement is based on fair standards. The book provides practical techniques for implementing these four points, including how to identify interests, generate creative options, develop objective criteria, and deal with tricky bargaining tactics.

The authors also address common challenges in negotiation, such as dealing with more powerful parties, those who refuse to play by the rules, and those who use dirty tricks. They suggest focusing on your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) to protect yourself from making an agreement you should reject and to make the most of your assets to achieve an agreement that satisfies your interests. To handle negotiators who won’t play along, the authors introduce negotiation jujitsu, a strategy that sidesteps their attacks and deflects them against the problem.

The book emphasizes that negotiation is a fact of life, whether you are discussing a raise with your boss, settling a lawsuit, or seeking a peace treaty. Principled negotiation provides a versatile strategy for reaching wise outcomes efficiently and amicably. The authors stress that it is not a matter of being "nice," but rather of being both hard and soft – hard on the merits, soft on the people. This method allows negotiators to be fair while protecting themselves against those who would take advantage of their fairness. Finally, they highlight the potential for principled negotiation to improve, rather than damage, the relationship between the parties.